Thursday, March 22, 2012

Goal, and a Recap of My Weight Loss Journey

I reached goal last night at my meeting! I couldn’t believe it! When I saw the number 125 exactly, I told the leader, “That’s goal.” And she said, “Yes, it is good!” And I said, “No, it’s GOAL.” And she goes, “Oh—OH! Wow congrats, ok!” and busted into motion, getting my weigh-in sticker sheet ready for the next 6 weeks and pulling out a pamphlet, explaining that I can go lower or higher for 6 weeks, and weigh in every week (no matter the weight as this is an experimentation period), but on the 6th week I need to weigh in at 127 lbs or lower to get WW for free! YAY!

That being said, it felt pretty anticlimactic; but in a good way. It took me so long to lose 15 pounds, and especially these last 5, that now that I’m at goal weight, I feel so prepared to maintain this weight, and if a role calls for it, to lose another 5 pounds if I need to. But for now, I’m happy, comfortable, content, and confident. I want to tell you about my weight loss journey, because I feel that everyone’s is so different, and yet, there are always similarities.

I began WW five years ago, in the spring of 2007. I had just moved to LA that January to pursue my acting career. I was 140 pounds, and I set my goal weight at 120 pounds at that time. I got really close, to about 121.6 or something like that within 3 months. I was on a mission. I also had just broken up with a boyfriend and was motivated to do anything and everything to make myself better. I ate less points than were allotted, and I remember it being a very difficult and unbearable time. I was always hungry! I was miserable! I started eating again, and the weight started creeping up, I stopped going to meetings, and then I finally unscubscribed.

My weight fluctuated around 130-135 for a couple of years. I tried the master cleanse twice—on both occasions, I made it through breakfast. Because it was so gross, I preferred not eating or drinking anything to drinking the solution the rest of the day. I wound up ditching the plan both times because I was sure that eating something was healthier than eating nothing. Haha!

My weight was back to around 140 in 2009-2010. I was in debt, my acting career seemed either dead or completely stagnant, I was spending unhealthy late nights with fellow comedians, and my twin sister got married which made me feel unaccomplished. I also had not had a relationship since that 2007 boyfriend. I felt unloved and I was depressed. I went to therapy for a couple of months, and the main thing I discovered was I really needed to start loving myself. So, I read a couple of books, started asking myself “what do I want,” and began running again (my exercise of choice since I high school). I went on a couple of online dating sites, and met my current boyfriend in September of 2010.

In November 2010, I decided to take weight loss more seriously. Why? Because I deserved it. That wound up being the best reason ever. It’s the main reason I keep going on this journey, and the only reason I’m ever able to turn down my “trigger food,” ice cream. I’m worth it! I’m worth feeling like I’m the best I can be and that my body has enough energy to get me through work days and shoot days and vacation/adventure days. I’m worth feeling confident enough to wear the clothes I find cute, and I’m worth feeling sexy around my boyfriend without having to apologize for love handles (even though I don’t think those will ever completely go away!).

I began attending weekly meetings with a friend, and I started an email chain with 4 other friends. We emailed our tracking daily, and would share when we got off or things we could do better. That helped quite a bit, and I lost five pounds to put me at 130. I also realized that 120 lbs was the weight I perceived other people wanted me to be; it wasn’t the weight I wanted to be. So, I changed my goal weight to something way more reasonable: 125 lbs.

The difficulty now lied in the fact that I was 5 pounds from goal, and I had a boyfriend who loved dining out. I stayed 3-6 pounds from goal for a full year, and this January, I finally decided—ENOUGH. Time to s**t or get off the pot. I planned every breakfast and lunch so they were low in points values; it freed up evening points for when we wanted to go out for dinner. I made my running schedule non-negotiable 4 times per week for at least 3 miles each time. And I told my boyfriend how important this was for me; he wound up being very supportive and said, “I don’t care what you order when we go out, I just want you there with me.” 

I began losing weight, a fraction of a pound at a time, and I fluctuated around 126-127. The last five pounds were not easy to lose. I think it was my mindset. Same as the last time I neared goal—I got cocky. I started to think I could beat the system, and also, I thought, “Whatever, I look great! I’m 2 pounds from goal! This will be easy!” I was wrong. It never gets “easy,” you just develop more and more tools to make the journey easier. I realized I need to stay the course, and do the plan that works! (duh, Amy)

So, yes, I have finally reached goal; it took me 3.5 months to lose 5 pounds. Saying it like that should make me a little embarrassed, but it actually makes me proud. I know what the numbers 125, 126, 127 and 128 feel like in my body, and I know how to maintain each of those numbers. The goal is now to maintain 125, and if I go over, to use the tools I have to bring the number back down.

I can’t stress how good I feel, but more than that, how strong and secure I feel. I know I can do this. I believe in myself. My weight is a part of me, and it very much influences my moods and my attitude, so I need to continue to acknowledge its importance in my life. I said it before, and I’ll say it again—weight loss doesn’t become “easy.” I still crave ice cream and chocolate, and I still overeat at holiday meals and it’s still a challenge when we go out to dinner, but I’m better than I used to be. I still and always will have room to improve.

I mean, talk to any person whose body you envy (there are a ton of them in LA), and you realize very quickly that these people put WORK into their bodies, some of them 3-4 hours per day. I don’t have that time to spare, so I do my 30 min to1 hr per day (most days), as well as eating as on plan as I can. I never get the job done perfectly, but I know what works for me, and I do my best.

In many ways, I feel that my journey has just begun. It took me 5 years to lose 15 pounds, and I’m looking forward to continuing this program for the rest of my life.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Cold Calling AKA Taking Matters Into Your Own Hands

I attended a new acting class last night with a truly fantastic teacher. He is kind and encouraging, but definitely calls out when a scene or performance doesn't work. He said a few pearls that I happened to take with me. In short, I am very excited to keep attending.

He is a big proponent of cold-calling Casting Directors. He didn't use the words cold-calling; I put those words in his mouth because that's what I do for a day job now. I am a headhunter for senior care executives (aka Nursing Home Nurses and Administrators). I cold call all day long to facilities in the area of the job opening and see if anyone might be interested or know anyone. Some people seem to think it's a "shady" business, but it's not! I have a legitimate job opening and I'm networking and offering new opportunities to people they wouldn't have known about otherwise. Business is business and I'm in the "finding people" business. My boss calls us "Paid Assassins."

A Casting Director I recently met at a workshop said, "If you call our office, we'll take the call, but we're not on the phone to make a friend. Do your business and get off the phone. If you're doing business, so are we." That makes so much sense. If I am right for a role, the CD wants to see me. They are looking for me, even though they may not know it yet. I potentially could be making their job easier. And I'm no stranger to a "no" response. Sometimes, they truly may not be looking for me. It's business, it's not personal.

The instructor last night said that actors just will not make the call--they get so nervous about getting turned down, or nervous about I don't know what. He referred me to an iPhone App called Actor Genie, updated daily, that has all the names/numbers of CDs, agents, and managers, as well as the projects that are currently casting. I couldn't believe that this existed! I told my mom, if I quit cold-calling nurses, it would be such an easy transition to cold-calling Casting Directors! Now, I email resumes for nurses, but soon, I could be emailing my headshot and acting resume.

Don't I want acting to be my career? Isn't a career a business? Isn't cold-calling the best way to get business? It seems so easy! Probably because it is!

I am really excited to have the resources and the knowledge to take matters into my own hands. This class couldn't have come at a better time in my life!

I'm already taking my weight loss into my own hands for the same reason--to develop a good acting career; this is just the next step :) No one said this would be easy (losing weight OR acting); I'm init for the long haul, so I may as well start the difficult work now! I am PUMPED!
it for the long haul, so I may as well start the difficult work now! I am PUMPED!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Five Pounds Until WW Goal

Current Weight: 130
Starting Weight: 136.2 lbs
Weight Loss This Week: 0.8 lbs
Weight Loss Total: 6.2 lbs

Weight Watchers has a tracking device online that charts your weight loss, and I thought I'd post it today for you to see. 6.2 lbs lost in 3 months seems fairly slow, but the line graph makes me look very successful! I'm excited to stay on track and lose more this week. Only 5 pounds away! That's enough to motivate me to eat extremely well this weekend!

Plan: TO PLAN MY MEALS THIS WEEKEND! (and this time actually do it)

Friday, January 28, 2011

Trying for a Positive Spin

Current Weight: 130.8
Starting Weight: 136.2 lbs
Weight Loss This Week: 0 lbs
Weight Loss Total: 5.4 lbs

So I maintained yesterday... I was very frustrated although not surprised... I was VERY hungry yesterday--all last week I was (I blame P90X)... I could have eaten more than was allotted, but not much. I tracked everything, and ate all my points. I can be more strict, eat more fruits/protein, etc.; I can make a change this week... so I shouldn't be that frustrated, but I am.

And you know how when one thing goes wrong, EVERYTHING seems to go wrong?Or you start looking at it in that light?

I was talking to my mom over the phone this morning, and really got myself going, whining, complaining, the whole nine yards. I realized a couple of things.

1) My mom is so supportive that she'll listen to me, and offer advice, etc, which is great. But then I take all that support as encouragement, and my complaints get bigger, stronger and cover a wider variety of topics until one of us runs out of steam.
2) Truly, nothing's really wrong. Any problem comes directly from me.

Here are my positive spins:
1) I haven't had any auditions this week (after having 3-5 auditions every week since the 1st of the year). Spin: I was able to work full time for my boss, which I know he and his small company appreciated (so did my bank account!)
2) I maintained weight. Spin: I didn't gain weight and I'm way more motivated to stay completely on track this week and lose more than I would have in these two weeks combined!
3) I have been creatively frustrated and uninspired. Spin: this feeling obviously has reached its pinnacle, so there's no where left to go but up!

I texted my dad that I was practicing "create your own happiness techniques" and he texted back "exactly how?" and I realized I hadn't made any tangible steps... so I did:

Steps I'm taking:
1) My dad told me to go to a mountain somewhere and enjoy nature to clear my head. I will do this Sunday.
2) I will plan my meals for this weekend (at least breakfast and lunch)
3) I will plan at least 6 hours this weekend for creative discussion/writing work. There is this one project I can't seem to complete, even though I have begun, I'm very excited about it, and the idea is very clear--it has been in my head for years.

Whew. So, maybe not so bad a start to a Friday after all...

Thursday, January 20, 2011


Current Weight: 130.8
Starting Weight: 136.2 lbs
Weight Loss This Week: 1.4 lbs
Weight Loss Total: 5.4 lbs

I almost didn't weigh in because earlier this week (previous blog post), my scale said I had gained 2 pounds since last week, which was a shocker because I had begun a rigorous work out program (P90X), AND stayed on plan. Turns out (after posting to the WW website), that the fact of the matter is I wasn't getting enough water. That was suggested by several lovely members on the site. I proceeded to drink a ton of water the next couple of days, and BAM! Look ^ what happened :)

Well, it goes to show you this moral: Weigh In at Weight Watchers and ONLY at Weight Watchers ON YOUR WI DAY! Turns out I lost 1.4 pounds, which is the most I've lost so far on this program (I think I lost 1.4 the first week, but since then, it's been fractions, maintaining, or somewhere in between).

I also have non-scale successes:
1) My average weekly loss changed from .4 per week to .5 per week. Thank you, thank you (as I take a bow)
2) My measurements (listed in a previous post)
3) I did not purchase a WW snack at the end of the meeting, which I typically do, and then immediately cram every last one of the mini bars, etc down my gullet that night and the next day, rendering the box empty within 24 hours. This means that I have learned what one of my bad habits is (eating the entire box of ANYTHING), and I took one step closer to changing it.
4) I have had 4 national commercial auditions this week, 3 last week, and 3 the week before, giving me a total of 10 commercial auditions already for 2011. This is going to be a good year, folks. They say you book one out of every 40-50 auditions you go on, and I booked 2 last year after about 30 auditions, so we will wait patiently and see what this year has to offer.

Congratulations to me!
My main goal:
Stay on target over the weekend. I typically eat all of my flex points (yes all 49) over the weekend, and then have a meltdown when on Monday, my scale reads that I gained weight. Duh, Amy. Well, let's not do that this weekend. Not THIS weekend, ya hear me? Yes, I hear you. Good.

Stats and Pics

I measured myself 2 weeks ago, and I have lost inches! That sure takes off some of my worry of gaining weight by working out:

Waist: now 28, lost 1 inch
Hips: 38.5, lost .5 inches
Bust: 32.5, lost .5 inches (THAT'S not where I need to lose inches!)
Arms: 11.5, lost .5 inches
Thighs: 11.5, lost .5 inches

I have lost a total of 3 inches all over my body! My dress size is still a 4, but my size 2 goal is in sight!

Monday, January 17, 2011


I started P90X this last Friday (3 days ago), and BOY am I sore! I did about 60 days of the workout my last semester in college, and then semi-started the workouts several times since then, always not for very long (because I got "busy").

This time, I will give myself a bit of a break. They break up the 90 days into 3 four-week rotations, so I'm going to view these rotations as doing 24 workouts in 28 days. I'm going to allow myself to skip one workout a week so I will be doing 20 workouts in 28 days. So far, I skipped the upper body workout yesterday because I was so sore from the similar upper body workout on Friday. Once I get stronger, I may get more strict with myself, but I'm happy with making this adjustment for myself. I also felt like resting my muscles yesterday was a very smart thing to do--I ached all over!

The workouts had an INSANE effect on my appetite/sleep habits. I was wide awake Friday night until 3AM, and then got up at 8AM, super hungry. Then at noon, I crashed for about 4.5 hours, did workout #2, and slept for about 10 hours Saturday night. I wasn't hungry until about 2PM on Sunday, when I got INCREDIBLY hungry, and ate all my 29 points within the next 1.5 hours which lasted me all night until about 10PM when I used some flex points. I also took another 2 hour nap on Sunday. Hopefully my body gets used to this soon, but for now, it seems as if I'm just eating and sleeping and working out :-P At least I have time to live this way for a little while.

Another thing--my boyfriend was noticing that I was spending an hour a day on work outs, and for the first time I got a text message saying: "why don't you come over a little later, I want to get some exercise in." !!! It totally took me off guard because I have NEVER heard him say anything like that, but I didn't say anything and just came over later. I don't want to treat it like it's a weird thing, if he's not going to treat it like it's weird. I would love for exercise to become a major part of our lives :) By the way, the reason he doesn't exercise is because he eats VERY well and always has--he's naturally skinny (but not gross skinny) and has a great relationship with food. I am very jealous of that quality about him, but he's very supportive when I say "let's go somewhere where I can order a salad" when he wants to go out!