Sunday, July 11, 2010

A Long-Expected Party

Yes, the title of this entry is a "Lord of the Rings" reference. I'm a huge nerd. I'm also an actress, and a bit "overweight." In no way am I "fat." In fact, in the rest of America, I'd be considered skinny. Hell, even in Hollywood, I'd be considered skinny. But not in the circle of Hollywood where I want to be. There, I'd be considered "overweight."

My good pal from college, Chase McCurdy, started a blog this January to help motivate him to lose weight. Already he's lost 100+ pounds, and he's staying strong and losing even more. You can look at that blog here: I have used his blog as motivation for myself, and now have decided to start my own, completely copying everything, including the name of the blog (thanks, Chase!). My weight-loss/body-toning will be incredibly less exciting than his as I have a lot less weight to lose, but hey, it's a goal of mine, and has been for YEARS, so hopefully this will work.

I've tried a lot of stuff over the years, and they all have worked: Weight Watchers, gym membership, personal trainer; but they all cost money. The results also disappeared as soon as I stopped using them. As my funds are depleting with the rest of America's, I figure this'll be a cheap (free), fun way to hold myself accountable, just like Chase!

I've got slightly different goals than Chase does. He lives in Chicago, and does a lot of stage acting. I live in Hollywood, and find myself on camera a lot more. Right now I'm doing a lot of comedy, but my ultimate goal is dramatic acting, as that is where most of my training lies. In comedy, the lifestyle is different. You stay out late, you drink, you laugh, you just have fun--it's the easiest way to find what's funny! You can choose not to fall into that lifestyle, but to do that, it has to be a conscious choice to go against the natural grain. That's where I've found myself the last few years, and I have to change it!

I always thought: "Once I get my body looking like I want it to, that's when I'll book the roles I want." Unfortunately, that has never changed. A therapist asked me, "Do you have signs of an eating disorder?" and I said, "Yes." Because it's true--I do have the signs of an eating disorder. I focus on it all the time, and I weigh myself all the time, and I look in the mirror all the time, and I wish I didn't love food as much as I do--hell, I wish I had an eating disorder. But I don't. Hrmph. I'm perfectly healthy and happy, and I have no desire to harm myself in the way I know an eating disorder will. Also, I do love food :)

So enough waiting around for something else to motivate me to lose weight. I've read tons of books about it, I've lost the weight on my own before--I've got all the tools I need. I can do this by myself, thank you very much. My mom told me an actor recently got an Emmy nod, and when they asked him what he'd do to celebrate, he said, "I'll probably just have a dessert." Well, shoot, that's the life I want, so that's the lifestyle I've got to lead--desserts only for special occasions (among other changes). Dammit. :P

My goal is to basically be camera ready to play the role that requires the awesomest body ever: a vampire. They're both parts the sexiest and strongest and most interesting character I think I can play. I know I have a long way to go, but I've just got to reiterate: Chase lost 100+ pounds in less than 7 months. I can do this.

I not only need to lose weight; I also need to tone up. Good news is, I already work out, and I like working out, and I think underneath this layer of fat, I've got some pretty sick muscles going on. I know what I need to do to keep that as part of my weekly schedule without going overboard or tiring myself. The hardest part for me is the food--eating healthily and eating the right-sized portions. Here's the bad news: to lose weight on a frame like mine, I have to eat 1100-1400 calories a day, and that's not a lot. I remember doing that a couple of years ago, and boy oh boy, it took a lot of willpower. Oh well. My dad cut out all white carbs (rice, pasta, etc), dairy, and sweets for a couple of months, didn't change his exercise habits at all, and lost 15 pounds. If Dad can do it, and Chase can do it, so can I.

Where I'm starting:
Weight: 133.5 lbs
Bust: 32.5
Waist: 27.5 inches
Hips: 38.5 inches
Right Thigh: 22
Right Upper Arm: 12 inches

Goal: 115-118 pounds (because, come on, we fluctuate!)
and here are the size 2 Victoria's Secret clothing measurements that I'd love to match:
Bust: 32.5
Waist: 24.5
Hips: 35

I need to lose:
Weight: 18.5-15.5 pounds
Bust: 0 inches
Waist: 3 inches
Hips: 3.5 inches

Great, my boobs are the only things that match (buuuuut they will get smaller, too, as I lose weight *sigh*). For all you southern/midwestern people who think these goals are too intense, trust me, they're not. You should see the people out here, they weigh MUCH less than what my goals are. This is healthy, and these are real numbers. Now, I might gain weight if I put on muscle, but I know for a fact I can at least stay healthy at 120 lbs, so why not shoot for a little bit lower, and make it hard on myself?

I think it's healthy for me to lose 1-3 lbs/week; it won't be anywhere near Chase's 5+ lbs/week, but it will be slow and significant. It will also make me change my eating habits, which are my main concern. And it will make it easier to maintain the weight once I've lost the pounds.

Anyway, wish me luck!

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